Sunday, January 9, 2011

Lazy Sunday Inspiration

"Nothing to do, nowhere to be,
a simple little kind of free.
Nothing to do, no one but me.
and that's all I need."

The fireplace in our little red house is dancing as our lazy Sunday lulls us all into a warm, peaceful place. The winter weather outside is menacing as a prediction for eight inches of snow tonight has our pantry stocked up with snacks and fingers crossed for cancelled class tomorrow. I am reading, writing, things I often have to sacrifice in leu of busy weekdays.
And I am so content.
Had you asked me last January where I would be at this moment, I probably wouldn't have given you the correct answer. Many things have changed leading up to this moment, some that were scary but most for the good, and all of which I struggled with accepting (I roll with the punches but I like to know what's coming).  So for the first time, maybe ever, I'm absolutely confident in having no idea what's next.
I know I'm not alone in the struggle against self-doubt. Being young but independent is a constant battle in making the right decisions to get you to the right place, and the fear that creeps in after making life changes can mold some pretty scary thoughts. I know people who struggle so much with doubt that the smallest of decisions quickly turn into crises. I'm sure I've been guilty of this from time to time myself.
But I'm so done with doubt.
I'm discovering today that I'm going to get to where I'm going pretty well by myself. I have my own expectations for myself and the knowledge of my means to get there. And while I'm lucky enough to be surrounded with incredible people who love me and are rooting me on, I know that the "simple little kind of free" I've been given at this point in my life is equipping me with a pretty interesting and intricate roadmap to the future.
So, as this new semester starts, I'm confident in all the change that is going to continue to take place. Like last year, I don't know where to tell you where I'll be next January. I know this year is going to entail a big move to a new city, a new job (fingers crossed that happens quickly), a new masters degree, and many other news. I'm done with doubt and challenging the change. And all I am worried about right now is whether or not Glee starts back this week.


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