Wednesday, August 11, 2010

And So It Goes

Well, after mysteriously dropping off the face of the earth for a week, I'm back.
That's right, back and ready for action. Because it's the beginning again.
I've been thinking about beginnings lately (I've been on the road a lot this week so I've been thinking a lot, period- also reason for my extended absence.)
be*gin*ning: noun; the point in time or space in which something starts.
A beginning is synonymous with new. So why is it, that we resist change but celebrate new beginnings? How exactly does that make sense?

I'm one of those people you would assume welcomed with wide-open arms change. I like fresh ideas and fresh takes. But really, deep down inside I have intense nostalgia for things as they were. Deep down, I am often resistant to change because I consider my life lovely and full of love as it is, and am always a teeny tiny itsy bit terrified that it isn't ok to be this happy with the devastation happening in the world around us (Hello Haiti, New Orleans, oil in the Gulf, clean water in Africa, children on the streets, our government. But who's counting?) But if I love a new beginning, a new chance to spread some love, find a friend, save the world- you know, normal everyday happenstance- then essentially I am a lover of change as well, even though I happen to be somewhat scared of it. Right?
New and beginning are flip sides of the same coin. You get a fresh beginning, but you have to get rid of your comfortable. You start something new, but you have to let go of the old. Its like the endless possibilities when opening a new planner (oh yeah, I'm an intense planner girl ) to pencil in those appointments and parties for the upcoming year, and the satisfaction yet sadness when closing your old one, along with all the memories it was host to, for the last time. Accepting change and starting a new beginning for a new, bigger and better story walk hand in hand. So, to celebrate those new beginnings, we have to accept the change plummeting headfirst in our direction. If not, we continue to resist change but in theory would also have to resist beginnings, therefore never moving forward, growing, learning, striving (aka life would blow but who's judging?).
Today is my new new beginning. Its my first time at this new Macbook Pro of mine (that is going to grant all of my blogging dreams, duh) straightening out these thoughts of mine. Its my first day in my new place with a new graduate degree to work toward. It is the first time I'll be in a city I love without every single face in my heart living with me. It is (basically) the beginning of my 23rd year in the world, and the beginning of a year of possibilities and change and different habits, routines, and schedules than I've had in the past. And I pray for the help and guidance it will take to embark in this without the stipulations and comparisons to the past that have often littered the way. The key to this good story is making it a true, without comparison to any other, new story for myself. Starting now.

ps- food for thought.
This lovely is getting married Saturday and I'll be overly-sentimental: WARNING.
Look at this photo shoot of my dear friend MCK that I'm extremely enamored with right now. How cute is she?

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