I'm also ignoring the fact that I'm a bit discouraged right now.
And the fact that this is my first post in I don't know how many days.
In case you didn't know, life as a 25 year old is hard. And sometimes, among the singleness and champagne and beautiful friends and family around you (it sounds so terrible, right?), life seems lonely, in a crazy sort of way. But when you read things like this, everything gets pulled right into perspective. And you're reminded that even if you don't have the words to tell your readers and friends and family where you are, someone else did. And this girl—she did (and I thank you!).
So because of Whitney, I started thinking today about outside circumstances that might affect my ride (seriously, read it here) and, more specifically, my happiness. Because I talk a lot about happiness. Joy, inspiration, thanksgiving—those are all very important things in my daily life that also happen to be void without happiness. Those are the importance things. Those are the things that we can, if you're like me that is, judge our happiness by.
But who are we to determine our own happiness?
I was talking with my best friend today and something interesting came into our conversation. She mentioned she was scared to pray about a situation she needed peace about because she was scared of the answer.
Scared of revilement.
Scared of absolute clarity.
Scared of the consequences and the loss that comes with being absolutely happy.
Isn't that strange, that the utmost thing we seek may be brought to us through the utmost thing we are most afraid to lose? Losing comfort. Losing security. Losing the known to embrace the unknown. I found myself agreeing whole heartedly in a way I didn't know I felt. We are both, you see, plan girls. I like to see all my options, my future, my choices laid out in front of me with a clear pro/con list beside them all debating what the most logical decision is. And while hope is a key to my day, oftentimes I find myself hoping without absolute trust. Without asking, what if? And if not, then? But then what?
But what happens when you choose trust with absolute abandon?
What happens when you choose the very most thing you are scared of because that is where you will find the most honest answer?
Happiness happens, my friend. Joy. Clarity. Contentment. All the things that are most desired to live a fulfilling life happen when we choose to trust Him to navigate the way. Oh captain, my captain.
I write more freely write now than I have written in weeks. Not about fashion, or food, or entertaining—none of the things I am "good at." But about life, the most unclear circumstance of them all, the most unstable path in my future, made completely safe because He says "I will show you the way." And that is a confidence like no other.
And I write with utmost confidence because I believe what I seek has been put in my heart by Someone who knows me better than I know myself. He has put my hope in me, He has formed my dreams, and given me my aspirations. Being able to enjoy the ride that is life on the way to these things is a gift we have from above—a perk, a benefit to enjoy uncertainty that, really, only those that trust might experience. Because happiness comes from trust. And the little things that make us happy—the things that make each normal day worth enduring—those things are in our hands to recognize while He does the rest.
Happy Monday Mantra on a Thursday, kids. I think this may just be a new beginning.
I promise I'll stop getting deep on you one day and return to your regular scheduled programming. But until then...